dancing and finding myself

=) i duno wat to write... I guess that the feeling of being happy cannot be described... Just veri happie...

I went to Dance Ministry tonite, hv not really been dancing regularly tis year and with less Service (Worship) Platform nowadays, I am really getting very "nua".

The feeling of being happy was not manufactured by the activity/ the dancing... it seems that I was touched by the Holy Spirit tonite. After being down in my spirit for so long...
Being tired is also becoz I was down in my spirit, feeling that my "self" was not there. Lost.

I was searching for myself. And it is amazing how I am finding myself once again, slowly, via dancing.

Tonite, I went frm work, v.tired after almst 4days of hard work and feeling "nua", wanted to just go home & sleep.

As I went, nothing big nor touching happened. It was normal, rushing to the Auditorium + getting warmed up, rehearse, start with some polishing... etc.

I find myself very encouraged, encouraged by the people in the Dance Ministry - brothers and sisters. Going into 4th year and slowly 5th, I have seen myself grown in terms of dance, and I also grown closer to my frens in dance.

Never knew I could be so closed-up, i.e. difficult to open up to share my thots.
I felt v.different this year, even more from last year and before. The pressure to dance is not there anymore. It's not even about performing, it's learning abt people who dance, learning again why I dance... and learning abt God - how He can speak thru' dance. It was also a place I first stepped out of my "fear" and "doubt" and started a pursuit of my dream.

It is timely, that we are now called "Ministry of Dance". Very timely as well, as Pastoral Team decided to give the Ministry a new Direction... higher level of quality in dance, and not to go for "less-than-excellence" platform. Instead of weekly platforms (where we rotate and dance), there is a higher level of dance required -i.e. a Principal Team with Principal members was formed. The Team wld dance for special Services and also participate in massive events, e.g. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Day of His Power... outside church events, etc.

The breakthrough came for many of us, I believe, especially in our hearts, becoz many of us, incl. myself - struggled. Say we are not in the Principal Team, do we have a place in the Ministry ? We are no longer serving for Platforms, how can we improve our dancing, or in a human perspective - dancing is no longer fun - no longer on Sun- on stage ?

Where do we go from here ?
It is funny/ mysterious/ painful how God sometimes bring us through the process, sharp turns or like Walking Thru' the Tunnel, only to do His Will, lead His Sheep... "prune the branches" -bringing us back to the basics.
Of loving dance
of Loving worship
of knowing ourselves
& trusting Him more.

Today, the rehearsal was only 1 song - Forevermore.
The song choreographed by Royston was not v.easy. The rhythm was quick, steps were requiring higher technique.

Though many of us, incl. me, do not know how best to dance - due to variation of forms and beat, we tried.
We danced to our best. Think we all persevered... practised and tried to achieve excellence in watever we have. Not to compare, but truly to do it.

JUST DO IT ! =)
God multiplied, and I wld say, most of the dancers - Principal Team or Not Principal Team, hung in there and accomplished in their own way.

Royston is a gd teacher and faithful one. He was have felt some pride in seeing some dancers doing their best. Kelvin is our leader who also encouraged and persevered along with us, those who are not in Principal Team this year (keke)... and there is much he did to motivate us.

I find myself enjoying the dance and practice, and proud of the Principal Team members who really did well. =) Really aspire to be like them, not becoz of gaining approval nor comparison, BUT to achieve excellence. And I cld sense the Community Spirit, the Bonding, the JOY of Being in IT TOGETHER =) (cannot describe, it's like WE, not abt me/ u) - we held on till now, since the New Direction for the Ministry of Dance was given.

It is really cool, to be able to dance better and BE MORE THAN WHAT i was (all of us were) when we first began.

Thk You GOD, i also felt nearer to You tonite. Which is something which I never felt for a long time... the passion You bring forth to birth, the Joy of perseverance, process of learning FOCUS & determination to be more excellent.

It was never possible to dance if not coz of pple who encouraged, pple who taught-showed the way, and God who births forth new beginnings and breakthroughs.

_CHEERS_________ ^^------------------------------------ =D