actualli moi v. brave la...... but Now i just wana take time to 'grieve'

I finally asked.
Dun wish to guess.
His reply : he said he just thk God for me as a fren; sister-in-christ, etc...duno how to feel. But i noe the way out truly is to remember how many times God was gracious.

i wana cry out loud but there was no more tears.....and of coz, now in (3plus in the afternoon) office premises do not permit.

i hv to ask of u NOT to reply to my email coz i just need time to be alone. i noe u care and already gave a lot of support; advice and encouragement.
i will not blame God nor myself nor anyone. Just not to tink but to move on. Not to fantasize nor hope in him coming bck. But to let my heart grieve and believe tat I will survive, and to be real to my emotions, to heal and let God fill me once again.

It is indeed not gd for me, in not being successful in a tried-attempt. It is v. painful. This time, I will not try to be strong, I will face my emotions. OF coz, I will be real, to noe that love cannot be 'manufactured', love cannot be predicted, love cannot be such a pain too.
God is not in front of me now, but I asked Him to strengthen my hands, my heart; encourage me to focus on Him, my work, and quicken the process of healing.

I know He has me in His hands.
Will not share tis anymore, and will not share abt bgr anymore. If u hv somebody to intro. to me, also dun tell me, just let the activities come, in the midst of many people and not having me to noe.

BGR/ feelings has always been a weak area for me. And i just need to let go completely, be SECURE being a single lady and happy to noe guys and gals as frens, and let guys pursue me. Sometimes the fear and bad experience / happy memories flash back. But i tell myself - INDEED NOT TO FISH BACK. And i stop myself from feeling bitter. Sadness is inevitable but i ask myself to run to God once I hv negative feeling, and depressing tendency.

PLEASE dun ask me how i feel when u see me !!!

I know i hv asked u to pray many times, really, how silly i feel now.
Pray for me and I will just recover and be completely alright. Still happy in church and will be taking time to pray for myself too, to grow up and be SECURE.