my journey and doing what I am passionate abt

hahaahaaaa
the last few days were packed with crazy stuff.

First, i almost went crazy as things were not happening the way I thot shd be....
then I quarrelled wif my bro....
then i had gatherings wif frens tho I felt a bit down.....and had no money (thus felt really really poor)

i. realise i need to scrimp again (haha, it's like after 2 yrs of scrimping, after i got new job, entered into a buying "spree" for the new job)

ii. relationship wif bro deteriorated till there was no trust nor love bet. the two of us...it was so bad

iii. going crazy as I felt that God let me down....and He was all that I "relied on" and had....

Presto....then came God's help, to first let me rest my silly thots, send pple to divert my attention and brought me to pple/places that help me to realise what a mess i got myself into----worrying and depressing attitude.

What was the happy me?

Why did I bec. so joy-less and easily confused?

i guess the burden is almost invisible---weighing down on me.

NEXT, i threw away the burden and kept directing questions to God, why this, why that, and gave God many "arrows" of my negative emotions.

I cant believe God would be able to answer my every question; need.

then on Sat, from pastor's sermon, i realise i am lost. A lost sheep......forgetting the shepherd, went to graze somewhere and got lost....and just bec. irritatingly ashamed.

Thank God all the above craziness, quarrel wif Bro......etc. were resolved.


**************
kay, abt doing the thing I am passionate abt....i am not really doing now.
I am just working.
Hahaha....never felt so weird before....thank God too.
COZ i always pride myself for being "different". yes, i need a time of quietness and non-excitement...
a period to slow down and not be super-duper "know-it-all"....maybe i shd just "evaporate"
No lah, just too eager at times,
now resting,
just floating,
then see how
maybe the most surprising stuff will happen while I am at rest....
serious.
And when i am mature and ready [defined as sure] to just do it!
definitely will do the thing i am most passionate abt