fiNaLLy......

hi diary, hv been a while since I had the mood to write.....

down, was down ........feeling i hv a pathetic job and it is becoming meaningless. Haha, almst "fan lian" with a dear colleague whom i was so close to; she was like a mentor/ sister at least.

Very lost in work, very lost in wat i am doing. Sleeping 5-6hrs on average......it is very very bad.
Nearly quarrelled so badly with my father. It seems the good days jus was yest. ! Why ?
(thk God, reconciled and went a 'level' higher...as in understanding and reconciling our differences/ expectations...)

Also, made a mistake typing some silly email, which might not be wrong, but considered too direct by some. It is my weakness, so I am being asked to change again, not to be so direct. Both at work and in normal relationships/friendships. =0)
etc...etc......

Indeed the question is how good do i have to be ?
how much shd i change ?
and, my age is catching up, my anxiety creeps up once again. Can i endure and really believe/ trust in God ?
And esp. when I am emotionally down, i tink of every single, d*** thing in the world, almst like cannot breathe. Silly me.

Busy-ness is such a "in" word in S'pore that it grips most of us, can be quite a disease. We call it kiasu, kiasi and over-worked.

Actually the cancer rate is very high now. Why r Singaporeans not heeding it ? Too much work-stress, performance trap, too much anxiety, want everything, do everything above others..........
Why not consider contentment ?
Nothing is fair and nobody is given fair treatment any time of our lives. There would be bitterneesssss....etc etc....
perhaps the best thing is to learn to let go and trust God. ANd for ME, it is rest, indeeed sufficient rest. Too much i also indulge and dun wana do anythg constructive anymore. YES, work is getting tough and perhaps i am not up to it, etc.etc. Haha, will buck up. ANd yes, my God, everlasting I AM, you will lead me on.....